Saw this chuckleworthy piece over at Overlawyered:
A team of researchers led by Richard Gun, visiting research fellow at Adelaide University, ‘has found patients who engage a lawyer after receiving their injury are five times less likely ever to return to work.’ They also appear to suffer more pain and for longer periods than accident victims who do not have lawyers.
Even allowing for an expected correlation between the two variables — persons with more serious injuries are presumably more likely to retain lawyers — legal representation appears to have an independent effect in prolonging the process of recovery, Sun says.
According to the study’s abstract, among 147 car accident victims suffering from whiplash, ‘consulting a lawyer was associated with less improvement in NPOS (P < 0.05), … [and was also] associated with a lesser chance of claim settlement (P < 0.01) and a greater chance of still having treatment (P < 0.01) after 1 year’. Is this another example of the Lionel Hutz effect?
Hutz: I will like to talk to you about bringing legal action to the fiend who did this to your boy.
Homer: Well the fiend who did this to my boy is my boss. Besides, the doctor says it’s just a bump on the head and a broken toe, nothing serious.
Hutz: Pfft. Doctors. Doctors are idiots! There is no telling what type of permanent injuries he might have. You might have to wait on him hand and foot for the rest of his natural life. That’s the down side. Now here is the good part. You can ching ching ching cash in on this tragedy.
Homer: Wow.
Or, perhaps:
Hutz: All right, gentlemen, I’ll take your case. But I’m going to have to ask for a thousand-dollar retainer.
Bart: A thousand dollars? But your ad says “No money down”.
[shows his paper ad: “Works on contingency basis. No money down.”]
Hutz: Oh! They got this all screwed up…
[makes a few corrections: “Works on contingency basis? No, money down!”]
Bart: So you don’t work on a contingency basis?
Hutz: No, money down! Oops, it shouldn’t have this Bar Association logo here either.
Or, while we’re on a roll here, this delightful exchange:
Hutz: I move for a bad court thingy.
Judge Snyder [modeled on Robert Bork]: You mean a mistrial?
Hutz: Right! That’s why you’re the judge and I’m the law-talking guy.
Judge: You mean the lawyer?
Hutz: Right!